SCRIBE & INK

Marriage is one of such adventure... You are bound by oath before God from its inception to remain faithful till death. Simi in her all white flowery gown and Kunle spruced up for the occasion can be seen before the altar grinning from teeth to teeth. My vision of the two love birds was temporarily blurred by my inner thoughts. Racing in my heart is the quest to know if by some profound soul searching they understand the implication of the exchange of vows. Are they devoting their lives to each other or to the construct of their fantasies about one another? When you make a pledge of for better and for Worse, in sickness and health till death do us apart , to a human (subject to change) with imperfections just as you, What are the possible upshots?

Do people change in marriage or does marriage change people? H ow does change occur in marriage? What kind of change do we dread in marriage? No doubt young people are scared of getting married. It seem "Mission Impossible" to think about marriage without our hearts beating at a fast rate or without some level of panic. Such fear has drastically risen in many singles of this time and age. I think that is a product of the high rate of broken marriages, and lives that comes out of such marriages. Do people change in marriage or does marriage change people? The question is like asking "The chicken or an egg, which one comes first?". Perhaps the question should be, how does change occur in marriage? What kind of change do we dread in marriage? I believe what we see in marriage is not more of a change happening but a change that has always been there.

A Relationship of Rights and Wrongs Paul Aremooluwa ...Both party arguing their RIGHTS at the same time are WRONG... Fighting for our RIGHTS doesn't mean we are doing it the RIGHT way... I woke up this morning with few thoughts so I am going to share them with you. Why do we get angry with our spouse? Why do we argue and quarrel over issues? From complex matters to the most absurd ones. A married woman once confided in me saying, "I don't agree with my husband on how the toothpaste should be pressed out of the tube, we fight over it all the time so I bought another for myself." There are lots of reasons why we may feel different about life issues, we were born and raised by different parents with different temperance. We lived in different backgrounds weathered different circumstances. However, it not enough to explain what happens when we argue with our spouse. Sometimes out of those arguments violence rears its ugly head. What is responsib...

Wisdom said, If you cannot die for your spouse, if you are not willingly to die to keep your marriage, don't venture into marriage... D ear reader, I am about to write some of the most difficult things and raise as well couple of difficult questions which I ask myself about divorce and marriage. How to approach this seem complex and how to end it seem far more complex but these are my reflections. I wonder what is hard about the whole concept of divorce. Is it trying out new roles of being a stranger to the same person you once lived together under the same roof? In the same room, you shared same bed and toilet? Your husband becomes your EX and your wife adds that prefix to her former role. You run across each other in the parking lot, supermarket or across the streets and you greet yourselves "Hi" or exchange quick eye glances and go separate ways. What was your feelings saying when you heard that your wife/husband (Ex) remarries. Are you haunted by flashes of ...

Romance is neither for dull people ...those who have giving up on learning anything new about their spouse 💢 The Craft Of Continually Inspiring Love In Another R omance shouldn't be the basis for a life commitment with the opposite sex, I believe this argument is valid. But if you'll think on it you will find romance play out at the beginning of courtship and marriage. Proposing is an act of romance. The man anxiously invites a woman into his world by trying to convince her -he sounds emotional almost with a plea. He bows one of his knees demonstrating humility and signifying a pledge to go "low" so she would always find her feet and be honoured.

Your lips are not only useful during sexual intercourse 💢The art of professing your love (Spoken Profession) The other side of the coin is creating a castle out of your relationship using words. Almost all the time I hear married men and women say, "I love you" to their spouse and it leaves me in doubt if they intend to say, "Drop dead" or "let me be” or they intended both. Their spoken words are in the absence of emotions, conviction and excitement, not even the decency of attention to the one addressed.

W hen you make mention of romance it is commonly believed that sex is   the drive and its intended end. As a result, you’ll discover marriages especially Christian marriages and courtship become a drag, a bore or both. As such, courtship loses the essence of bonding the intended goal, marriages loses the practicality of loving. Without romance both partner(s) begin to struggle under the stuffy cloud of emptiness and particularly gloominess rather than enjoy the affection and caring love which should be the bedrock of any courtship or marriage relationship that must thrive.

He parked his car and opted out, got to the store, he bought her a red night dress and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon red wine, some chocolate, an album each of Blues and Country music. He wondered why he couldn’t remember what she liked. But he convinced himself somehow that he had made a good choice.

... I turned my back on her exiting the scene, she had first grabbed at her chest, seeming to rip out her heart but grabbed her stomach rather, as if to bring a child out of it, like an evidence to refute my last words. She went down on the floor with a howling cry. I could care less if she wept... I banged the door so loud, the neighbours should have jumped out of bed… but they didn’t ... T hinking about it in this lonely park, I resented this night, “why did I have to come home tonight?” I said out loud.

I strolled out of the room in anger wondering why we fell in love in the first place. Hell shouldn’t be as tough as my marriage was. I could hear her sobs filtering through the bang of the front door. She was hurting but my heart was burning, maybe twice as hell itself. She had nagged life out of me. She had complained away my innocence. She makes me feel so guilty of nothing precisely. I am a good man until am home; she tries to paint me into a monster, the worst kind. Perhaps I made a wrong choice marrying her. I deserve to be happy, not having to put up with her complaints and obsession of attention. Oh gosh! She upsets my stomach. I plunged the key into the car, drove for a mile and half or so or more, I really didn’t care. I am far away from her, that’s all that mattered. I stopped the car and strolled into a deserted park, a gentle breeze bidding me welcome, it embraced my chest and sought to douse the fire burning within it. I looked the moon in its face, like a fluore...

 It is when a man understands submission that the little moments of quietness, the uneasy moments of saying, “I am sorry” and the walking away from a nagging wife saves his marriage. “Do not try to dictate to me! You are always trying to teach me what to do” the 73 year old man barked at his wife, before me and few others. The woman went quiet all through that night. As that scene played over and again in my heart I observe that we cannot attain to a place in marriage where submission fades. In marriages where submission is shown the front door, the bags of one of the couple would soon follow. Where submission is denied access to thrive, the man tends towards autocracy and the woman becomes manipulative and rebellious. Heated arguments, battery, excessive anger, unforgiveness and ultimately divorce; implies both partners are not submitting to one another. I am not blind to certain people and cultures that have great exaggeration and misconception of submission and its applicati...