Skip to main content

A Relationship of Rights and Wrongs

A Relationship of Rights and Wrongs
Paul Aremooluwa

...Both party arguing their RIGHTS at the same time are WRONG... Fighting for our RIGHTS doesn't mean we are doing it the RIGHT way...


I woke up this morning with few thoughts so I am going to share them with you.
Why do we get angry with our spouse? Why do we argue and quarrel over issues? From complex matters to the most absurd ones.

A married woman once confided in me saying, "I don't agree with my husband on how the toothpaste should be pressed out of the tube, we fight over it all the time so I bought another for myself."
There are lots of reasons why we may feel different about life issues, we were born and raised by different parents with different temperance. We lived in different backgrounds weathered different circumstances. However, it not enough to explain what happens when we argue with our spouse. Sometimes out of those arguments violence rears its ugly head.

What is responsible? You may ask. Behind every argument, quarrel or outrage is a desire to prove a point. There is a belief we hold on to that we are right or have a right that is worth defending. It is on this ground (psychology) that televised debates leads to the entertainment of viewers.

Now  lets reflect on the woman that bought her own toothpaste. She applies pressure at the bottom of the tube to get the paste out and she feels it is the only RIGHT way to get the paste out of the tube. The husband applies pressure at the middle of the tube, but frankly the husband doesn't really care where you apply force on the tube as long the paste is out and he can brush his teeth.
In the case study above, notice that your upbringing doesn't pose a threat to your relationship until you begin to enforce your self culture on your partner. In the same vein no argument would exist when you acknowledge that your spouse is also entitled to see things different. Sometimes we just get angry because we feel we don't deserve to be treated in a certain manner, so we protest, protest leads to tension building; both party believe they are RIGHT in their own cause. But the truth is both party arguing their RIGHTS at the same time are both WRONG. Two wrongs don't make a right as surely as fighting for our RIGHTS doesn't mean we are doing it the RIGHT way.

No relationship can be built upon the emphasis of who is right or what is wrong always. But we can be open to dialogue; that old diplomatic tool, we can reach an agreement by compromising our stand sometimes so we can both be right.
Without compromise we can never attain to forgiveness, we can never stop hurting, we would be selfish, self centered and self opinionated. In a world where fighting for your RIGHTS seem to take the center stage, we must be cautious not to allow that mentality overrun our relationship. God is not interested in who is right in our relationship, His eyes is upon us to see who is bold enough to keep the peace of the home with a loving attitude.

"But I say to you, Do not resist the evil man [who injures you]; but if anyone (husband/wife) strikes you on the right jaw or cheek, turn to him the other one too. And if anyone (husband/wife) wants to sue you and take your undershirt (tunic), let him have your coat also. And if anyone (husband/wife) forces you to go one mile, go with him two [miles]."
Matthew 5:39-41 AMP

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WEEKLY DEVOTIONAL: Journey to Plenty

                                                                                                04   February, 2017 “ He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. 16 He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. 17 You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me."  Deut 8:15-17 Your history may be filled with pain and tears. Years you questioned if God exists. Why do we go through tough situations? It is true we do not always know what God is doing, sometimes he ...

DOWNPOUR

Joshua meador rainy windy day Shivering branches scares fleeing birds Waving clothes seeks The cozy corner of a wardrobe Palm trees block against the wind The sky pulls a curtain of blackness Fleeing kids, jumping Josh jams James Litters of rubbish terrified by drops Groaning doors and clapping windows Closing doors closes stalls Noisy roofs and flowing streams Across the street we see a wetting floor Speaking sky yells out thunder Fright and comfort Cool and noise Just another wet day on a suppose Sunday Paul Aremooluwa Copyright Content       2016 Next Poem

How FG Butchered its Anti-Graft War: Antidote From History

President Muhammadu Buhari and Vice President Yemi Osinbajo Paul AremoOluwa Corruption is not a vice peculiar to the civilisation of modern man and his society. For all centuries it has been a thorn in the flesh of just persons. It strangles justice and systematically leads to the breakdown of law and order. The FG’s anti-corruption campaign suffered a lot of setbacks recently: anti-corruption agencies lost court cases, fisticuffs ensued between the executive and legislature, the presidency and the judiciary, blames were traded between the Chairman of the Presidential Advisory Committee Against Corruption ( PACAC ) Professor Itse Sagay (SAN) and Attorney-General of the federation, Mr. Abubakar Malami (SAN). Where do we go from here?