A Relationship of Rights and Wrongs

A Relationship of Rights and Wrongs

Paul Aremooluwa

...Both party arguing their RIGHTS at the same time are WRONG... Fighting for our RIGHTS doesn't mean we are doing it the RIGHT way...

I woke up this morning with few thoughts so I am going to share them with you.

Why do we get angry with our spouse? Why do we argue and quarrel over issues? From complex matters to the most absurd ones.

A married woman once confided in me saying, "I don't agree with my husband on how the toothpaste should be pressed out of the tube, we fight over it all the time so I bought another for myself."

There are lots of reasons why we may feel different about life issues, we were born and raised by different parents with different temperance. We lived in different backgrounds weathered different circumstances. However, it not enough to explain what happens when we argue with our spouse. Sometimes out of those arguments violence rears its ugly head.

What is responsible? You may ask. Behind every argument, quarrel or outrage is a desire to prove a point. There is a belief we hold on to that we are right or have a right that is worth defending. It is on this ground (psychology) that televised debates leads to the entertainment of viewers.

Now  lets reflect on the woman that bought her own toothpaste. She applies pressure at the bottom of the tube to get the paste out and she feels it is the only RIGHT way to get the paste out of the tube. The husband applies pressure at the middle of the tube, but frankly the husband doesn't really care where you apply force on the tube as long the paste is out and he can brush his teeth.

In the case study above, notice that your upbringing doesn't pose a threat to your relationship until you begin to enforce your self culture on your partner. In the same vein no argument would exist when you acknowledge that your spouse is also entitled to see things different. Sometimes we just get angry because we feel we don't deserve to be treated in a certain manner, so we protest, protest leads to tension building; both party believe they are RIGHT in their own cause. But the truth is both party arguing their RIGHTS at the same time are both WRONG. Two wrongs don't make a right as surely as fighting for our RIGHTS doesn't mean we are doing it the RIGHT way.

No relationship can be built upon the emphasis of who is right or what is wrong always. But we can be open to dialogue; that old diplomatic tool, we can reach an agreement by compromising our stand sometimes so we can both be right.

Without compromise we can never attain to forgiveness, we can never stop hurting, we would be selfish, self centered and self opinionated. In a world where fighting for your RIGHTS seem to take the center stage, we must be cautious not to allow that mentality overrun our relationship. God is not interested in who is right in our relationship, His eyes is upon us to see who is bold enough to keep the peace of the home with a loving attitude.

"But I say to you, Do not resist the evil man [who injures you]; but if anyone (husband/wife) strikes you on the right jaw or cheek, turn to him the other one too. And if anyone (husband/wife) wants to sue you and take your undershirt (tunic), let him have your coat also. And if anyone (husband/wife) forces you to go one mile, go with him two [miles]."

Matthew 5:39-41 AMP