Rediscovering The Lost Art Of Romance Part II

Your lips are not only useful during sexual intercourse

💢The art of professing your love (Spoken Profession)

The other side of the coin is creating a castle out of your relationship using words. Almost all the time I hear married men and women say, "I love you" to their spouse and it leaves me in doubt if they intend to say, "Drop dead" or "let me be” or they intended both. Their spoken words are in the absence of emotions, conviction and excitement, not even the decency of attention to the one addressed.
Words go a long way in your relationship, to look into the eyes of your partner and say “I love you” is like slotting your ATM card into an ATM machine and punching in the password; you are sure of getting access to your account.

Your lips are not only useful during sexual intercourse, it is very useful in creating an intimate bond with your spouse. Everyone wants to feel loved, even those in prostitution; a lot of whom recoiled into that world because of the lack of love. In the beginning of your relationship letting your spouse know you love him/her flows out of your lips easily but as you see other aspects of your partner’s make-up, it became hard to look him/her in the eyes and profess your love to them using words. When you are hurting and you cannot grasp why your spouse acts in a way almost unreasonable, that is when you realise the difficulty of saying simple words as, “I Love You,” but this is the first lesson to note:

Saying I Love You is not a complimentary comment, it is both a sacrifice and vow you owe your spouse irrespective of what he/she might have done or still do.

Then you have a scenario where you and your spouse are caught up in a tug of words, in the tumult the only right person is the one that can insistently say to his/her partner “I love You”. The next lesson to observe is that:

Saying I Love You is an altar where your ego and your rights are both sacrificial lambs.

Your spouse may have an answer and a counter objection to your arguments but what he/she cannot build a wall against is hearing that he/she could still be loved in the midst of a disagreement. Those words spoken purposefully in the heat of an argument silences your spouse, strokes his/her emotions to life and convicts him/her of negative emotions (e.g. anger, rage, bitterness etc.)

On the other hand you have to know how to profess the words “I love you” in a million ways. Instead of saying I love you every day you wake beside your spouse try using different words to convey your feelings. You can say, Hey! Wakie wakie, priceless jewel your face glows brighter with every rising sun and I just love to stare every morning. Good morning! Those words are effective (if not more) than simply saying I love you. Professing love should come with innovations. The words you used yesterday shouldn’t be the same for every day. Do not only speak it but sing it in songs, write it on paper, make it rhyme and let every discussion carry the feelings of love-convincing. Love is a song two lovers dances to without a guideline. We have been wonderfully wired by God in a way that the only way we can reply to loving gestures is to respond with the same intensity of love.

Every moment of the day matters, profession of love should not only be in the morning before leaving for work or at night when you are home, what happens during the time apart let your spouse know just how much they matter to you, how much you have been thinking about them. One reason why most people ask their spouse Do you miss me? Is because they have no proof you were thinking of them during the events of your day, they want to know how, without communicating, you made them part of your day. You might want to note it when your spouse asks if you miss them. When you are away from your spouse-say at work, take a break out of your most busy schedule, maybe you want to make use of the rest room, take your mobile phone along, call your spouse or leave a text message, let your emotions guide your voice or hands to let your spouse know how you feel about them, that is a sign that your spouse own a special place in your heart. Remember, professing love is an altar and it requires sacrifice, what are you sacrificing to let your spouse know you love them so dearly that the events of your day does not blot out the scent of them from your memory. Seize every moment to let your spouse know the state of your heart. Your words reflect the state of your heart.

One of the major barriers to creating a loving atmosphere is that some folks (males especially) believe that professing love to their spouse always, indicates that they have gone soft, such thinking gags relationship and allow it die a slow and natural death. Love is not meant to be hidden but to be demonstrated, this is one error a lot of Christian couples had made. Some would rather tell their spouse how much they love them in private, some only expresses love to their spouse when they want to have sex, others say it to their spouse only outside their home but cannot profess love to their spouse at home in private. “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.” Proverbs 27:5 NKJV. If you cannot conceal your anger, dissatisfaction from your spouse why do you hide that beautiful feeling that integrated your partner with your own life. The only person you should be vulnerable to is your spouse. Your spouse should be the only person on earth that can break down your defences and tear down your walls, one whose presence brings out the child in you.

How you apologise also matter and the words you use go miles in letting your spouse know how sorry you are, don’t always think saying “I am sorry” is enough. Let’s say Richard promised to call his wife at an appointed time but forgot, this is how he apologises: “Dearest one, today I understood clearly why you are the only one who could love and choose to spend the rest of her life with me. Your large heart is the 8th wonder of the world, when you told me ‘I do’ you folded my imperfections and throw them in the trash can, this is one of those days I am glad you did. Honey, I forgot to call you like I told you, I have no excuse, please kindly love me through this, I am so sorry…” Romance has a lot to do with your lips, what you say matters, it is really a tragedy when you see people caressing their spouse and naming it romance after verbally/physically abusing their spouse few minutes ago. Humans typically like the shortest route to an end but end up farther from the end. I present you a long but sure path filled with sacrifices and devotion to love your spouse no matter what or what may, it is a route that ensure romance is not just a moment in your home but the lifestyle of your home.

In my own opinion, aside sexual unfaithfulness negative words (and verbal abuse) are effective catalyst that destroys relationships. Unpleasant words spoken does not only hang around your home, it takes several honest, heartfelt and kind words to erase the scar from your spouse's heart, that is why they can make reference to such when they are hurting. Build your relationship on loving words you’ll be surprised how effective it is, after all God began his relationship with man when He said, “Let us make man…”

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