I strolled out of the room in anger
wondering why we fell in love in the first place. Hell shouldn’t be as tough as my marriage was. I could hear her sobs filtering through the bang of the front door. She was hurting but my heart was burning, maybe twice as hell itself. She had nagged life out of me. She had complained away my innocence. She makes me feel so guilty of nothing precisely. I am a good man until am home; she tries to paint me into a monster, the worst kind. Perhaps I made a wrong choice marrying her. I deserve to be happy, not having to put up with her complaints and obsession of attention. Oh gosh! She upsets my stomach.
I plunged the key into the car, drove for a mile and half or so or
more, I really didn’t care. I am far away from her, that’s all that mattered. I
stopped the car and strolled into a deserted park, a gentle breeze bidding me
welcome, it embraced my chest and sought to douse the fire burning within it. I
looked the moon in its face, like a fluorescent bulb it hung up there, “it was so
bright tonight”, I thought. The full moon’s glow made a mockery of my scuffle with
Melly. Ha! That reminds me, that was the name I used to call her, that was when
she was sweet and loving. Now I called her Melenie, her name in full, with no
enthusiasm. I hissed out loud at the night’s silence, at the thought of who she
had become, dry, barren, uninteresting, always looking pale and sickly. I had
endured enough; she is a parasite sucking on my life force.
I had left the office in the evening rush tired but happy. I boarded
a bus craving to be home, in bed soon, but I met with a heavy traffic, I cursed
under my breath and punched the Iron wall of the bus. Yet, I suffered through
the annoying sounds of honking cars, the whispers of insulting bus drivers and
the petty gossip talk of the retiring traders sitting next in front of me. My
hope was anchored in getting a quiet night at home...
I got home quite late in between anger and resentment for the city
buzz and the rickety bus. I tried to be optimistic that tonight won’t be
difficult to live through. That my house would carve me out peace; no
complaints, no hassles, just dine and wind in bed. I sighed. I knocked twice
and paused, the door cracked open with a croaking voice saying, "welcome"
as she turned back in. I could instantly feel a lump in my lungs, her welcome
was as my spittle, both were hard to swallow. I dropped my bag looking like a
stranger in my home... I sat quietly like a first time visitor. She was quiet,
I was quiet, the room was quiet, and so was the proposed children's room, empty
and quiet….. as Melanie’s womb itself...
She dropped my meal on the glass dining table with no gesture to
come sit. She looked at me as though she whispered in my ears, "want it or
not it’s there anyways.” She didn't ask how my day went or what took me so long?
She went back where she sat before I intruded on her private quiet world. She
sat on the pale green sofa looking pale herself. She was now looking at the right
wing of the room watching blankly at the screen. I sat there looking at her,
why do I feel I don’t belong here? Why is Melenie as cold as the morgue itself?
At what point did I lose my adventurous, fun loving Melly and when would she be
back?
In between my thoughts and starring at the scented rug mat, I saw
the necklace I bought her on her 27th birthday lying helpless there, it had
been sawn in two, the pendant nowhere in sight. I asked, “What happened to that,”
pointing at the necklace. She didn’t look away from the television screen but
replied, "It’s lost its worth!"
The anger arouse to my eyes as I asked again, “Lost what?"
She didn’t flicker a bit where she sat but placed her eyes in her palms. “Melenie
how could you? You are such an ingrate, that was a gift, that was a limited
edition, that cost me. I had to call in special favours to get you that. I had
to be in debts to get it.” By my last
two words, the demon nesting around us let all hell loose. "Please
me?" She blurted out with tears readily available to push her objection
through. “When did I ask for jewelries? When did I complain about money, have
I ever asked you get me a present?”
I staggered, trying to recollect if she never asked all that from
me. “I wasn’t married to jewelries, I married you! I never said my vows
wearing any of this,” she pointed at the remains of a once perfect gift. “The
day I said ‘Yes’ to you I had a scarf, orange and yellow flowers imprinted all
over it. I said my vows with you and not with gifts. Good gosh! How I wish I
can relive that moment again. It was the only time I felt as a woman, one
complete and not completely broken.”
“How heroic you must feel, replacing yourself with these garish
stuffs. I need you but you keep telling me you are trying, trying to what?
Trying to kill me? Trying to bury me? Trying to starve me of your time? You are
never home! Even at home you are at work.”
“What do you mean Melenie? This is outrageous! I have a job, I
have other responsibilities, I have got other relationships that need my attention,
what is wrong with you? You are such an ungrateful woman. Other women would
have traded the promise of eternal bliss to have what you have…”
The swift movement of her eyes startled me, the tears, flowed
freely, she held her averagely long hair, something I used to fondle and smell
years back. “Ungrateful? Other women? Is that what this is about? I am
ungrateful to you?”
“Yes you are! Who work all day long, 24/7 to clothe you, me! Feed
and cater for your petty existence? Me! Who loved you when your family rejected
you, me! It’s me, me, and me! Don’t tell me about being there, because as my wife you never were.
How interesting you talk so highly of yourself, does it occur to you I had a
cut right here on my palms for more than a week? Yeah, I got that cut while
trying to keep both of us alive, if you were grateful, I could have seen that cut
as a medal of honour and cherished it like a battle scar. You sit at home daily,
draining happiness from me. You don’t give me happiness and you intend to see I
die an unhappy man. does it occur to you that I am not always here because someone has to provide?”
She could barely stand anymore; I didn’t intend to go that far
but, Man! I am getting tired of her nagging routine. “I don’t give you
happiness?" She muttered from her now wet lips. But now the anger had
gotten to a height I couldn’t stop, besides why should I? I have kept mum long
enough. “Yes you don’t, how about giving me a child for a start?”
I turned my back on her exiting the scene, she had first grabbed
at her chest, seeming to rip out her heart but grabbed her stomach rather, as
if to bring a child out of it, like an evidence to refute my last words. She went
down on the floor with a howling cry. I could care less if she wept...
I banged the door so loud, the neighbours should have jumped out
of bed… but they didn’t...
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