By
Paul AremoOluwa
Kids fantasise about super heroes, they wish to act like Superman, Batman & Spiderman. A fascination that had made "WB" (Warner Bros.) a brand hosting millions of kids daily on cable channels. The stories of Cinderella, Snow White & Beauty and the Beast told from the lens of Disney World has revolutionised the world with words like "Prince Charming" & "Knight in shining armour." Not to bore you if you are not a fan of comics but the centre focus is that kids & women are ravished by the idea of being saved.
Have you ever wondered why women go gaga for a male super model, artiste, or a male who had done a heroic act? I know men are crazy after feminine figures too but you know how it is when a woman becomes your fan? At least you've heard stories, haven't you? I believe, whether it is a little kid or a woman, God had created that wonderful need to be saved, helped and rescued in their hearts.
A woman would marry the one she believes is the single best in the world. The one who is unique and understands her more than anyone in the universe. She relishes on the moments when help came from that man, these moments are golden and forever cherished in her heart. By agreeing to marry that man she wants to be "wowed" over again as a little child fantasied by an action would chant a command do it again, by different acts of saving and service from her man.
She feigns weakness at times, other times she seeks sympathy and fret over nothing as a "damsel in distress" would, so her man can be a shoulder to her, comfort and reassure her.
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| whether it is a little kid or a woman, God had created that wonderful need to be saved, helped and rescued in their hearts |
But the tragedy is that a woman falls in love with her hero, her angel in "dazzling white with broad wings" but ends up in marriage with her BOSS. A man goes 360 degrees and back to gain the heart of a woman but resigns 'rescue duty' almost immediately after marriage.
Often unintentionally, somewhere in the heart of most men women are just trophies. You exercise your muscles year round, you practice daily, you enter a competition and obey all the rules so you could win them. Afterwards you bring them back home, place them on your shelve to gather dust except for special occasional polish. You easily forget you once daydreamed, exercised & disciplined yourself for the same trophy which is now a dusty monument gathering cobwebs on your shelve.
Paul commenting on the role of Christ to the church in divine harmony with the relationship between a husband and the wife spoke thus:
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the SAVIOUR [(or hero) emphasis is mine] of the body."
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| the tragedy is that a woman falls in love with her hero, her angel in "dazzling white with broad wings" but ends up in marriage with her BOSS |
If Christ is the hero of the Church, "even as" means men ought to be such to their wives. Yes, the heart of women have to be won. Fictional romance was created by stumbling upon that spiritual law found in the relationship of Christ and His Bride (Church).
Yes it is true, the heart of women have to be continually won even in marriage. Church history is filled with countless timely rescue of the Church by Christ.
Here is an Ironic dilemma: "Before marriage, the man tries to win the heart of the woman. In marriage the wife tries to win the heart of her husband."
However, a woman's submission will not flow out because she recited some fancy quotes at the altar. Many men have had the shock of their lives because they expected their wives to submit to them immediately in marriage. A woman's submission will flow forth only by placing your life secondary to hers, by daily deaths in exchange of her life and embracing humiliation so she'll be honoured. Bare in mind, I do not suggest it as an easy task but if embarked upon, it yields divine harmony in your relationship. submission is a natural response to trust.
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| Before marriage, the man tries to win the heart of the woman. In marriage the wife tries to win the heart of her husband |
Today, worship is done reverently and heartily when we remember all that Jesus had done to bring us near and all He does daily though we do not easily "submit" to Him/His will. A man demanding submission from his wife has no example in Christ as the basis of his argument. This does not do away with the scriptural truth that wives should submit themselves to their husbands in all life issues (Ephesians 5:24). Only that a man should not make it a duty of command, to forcefully demand submission from his wife, that in itself has no scriptural basis.
Everyday the love of Christ feels like the first time we had a bite at it and His grace seem more refreshing especially in our moments of weakness. So ought a man to ravish the heart of his wife, leaving her awestruck on daily basis. For in trust and in continual service & saving of the woman you win her heart. When you cast your gaze beyond her flaws, ignore her complaints and nagging and observe her talents, uniqueness and good, you are reaffirming your commitment to love her for better & for worse till death.
If a man would just let go of the obsession of control and be willing to demonstrate submission first, I believe the woman will follow. Husbands bare in mind that the submission of Christ to the Church precedes the submission of the Church to Christ, let this mind be in you (Philippians 2:5-8) . When a wife becomes the fan of her husband you can understand the possible proportions know neither bounds nor barriers.
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| As a hero, you can save your spouse from bitterness, offences, dissatisfaction, malice, murmuring, complaints and anger by loving her till all these impurities are melted by the fire of love. Indeed, "love is stronger than death." Sos. 8:6 |
Your wife/spouse does not need a Boss who runs her life like a company bent on making profit at all cost. She simply needs you to be an insurance to secure her, to catch her when she falls. Gradually every saving touch, every rescuing grip becomes the same ladder of experience that lift her where God desires. It is up to the man to present his wife blameless, without spots or wrinkles. (Ephesians 5:25-29).
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